Standing My Ground - The right thing
First of all to explain as a background I am a retail merchandiser. I go from anywhere from 10 to 20 stores a day meeting with owners and managers to discuss their product. You build relationships, even friendships at times. I have done this for many years for different companies.
You learn over time who you can be friendly with, who you need to be colder professional.
I always try to do both, keeping it in the green zone the area where nothing you say or do anything
that could be taken wrong. We get yelled at people take out their frustrations on us all the time.
This sort of thing does not seem to rattle me, I always listening knowing they are having an emotional reaction to whatever their daily issue is. Sometimes there are those who for whatever reason their culture or their own self worth think they can push a personal interest in you I am always clear and precise that "No thank you, and I go back to talking about the product"
This past week I was faced with an owner who has in the past few months expressed more and more of an interest in me personally. We had dealt with an issue they had with their product, I had contacted him in regards to this from my cell phone. He had sent a few text of a personal nature.
I never responded to them. Each time I went in I would restate I was there for professional reasons.
This past week I decided to give him one more chance before removing him and refusing to go back.
I walked in and did my job he was outside at the time, when he came in he immediately stated Hey I tried texting you, to which I replied yes sir but I do not answer personal text messages and I am not interested and went back to discussing our product.
I hurried and left pretending to be on the phone as I left because I knew he was behind me.
I drove away was about half a mile north when my phone rang. I had blocked his number and so
when a new number popped up I didn't worry.
He made a very violent, inappropriate threat to hurt me in a very scary way. I froze for a moment
then I calmly said to him "I am removing you from my list, blocking your number, and will file sexual harassment charges against you. Then I hung up. I was mad, shocked, and upset. Then I said a prayer asking for the strength to know what to do. I called my supervisor and explained exactly what had transpired. He contacted HR and his supervisor. They asked me what I wanted. At this point all I could think of was some rep or customer my daughters age walking in not knowing what to do with this kind of assault. Yes is it was verbal only but it was still an assault in my opinion.
I told them calmly he needed to know it was not right, and I knew he would hurt someone physically if he already hadn't. I went to the Layton Police department and filed a complaint.
In his dealings with the police he made a statement that was regarded as a threat against my life.
My point is this, I am not a victim and never will be again. I took control back and am standing my ground even though many have said I should not be taking such aggressive action against him.
As I told those few and my company I am doing this so if nothing else to have a record he is a predator. There is right and wrong and I know in every fiber of my being this is me getting control back of who I am. He took 10 minutes of my life and made them heck. He will not get another chance to make me feel that way again.
Why am I sharing this? Because I believe in our world we have choices, some we let go, some we work through, and some times we stand our ground because its the right thing.
As Eric Church states in his song Monsters
You learn that the real monsters aren't the ones beneath the beds. They are the ones who look like everyone else but are dangerous.
I learned years ago that being a victim was a horrid role, you get trapped in it, and then you get tired, you hate yourself, and I had many people who taught me to take control, be strong, and in doing so you heal and you grow. Then you help someone else and you continue to grow and heal.
I feel as if those who say they were just words do not know when this stranger might change from just words to actions. I will not say words, I took action.
No matter where it ends, no matter what does or does not happen legally, I am standing my ground
saying no more. No man, woman, child, no-one has any right to take away another individuals feelings of security, self worth, or threaten their life.
I feel as if the first 40 years of my life were spent making mistake after mistake. I will spend the last years of my life proving I have grown, learn, repented, matured, and changed. I will not allow the monsters into my life, and I will not become one ever again.
I suppose perspective is what its all about, I am blessed I have friends like Luann Fronk and Beverly Peterson who have held me up when I couldn't do it, Michael Wack, Cashlyn Lewis, Doug and Sherri Millerf and my boss Larry Carter who every day several times a day has checked to make sure I was alright emotionally, mentally, physically, throughout this. To my company who has had my back from the start.
The officers from Layton City who supported me, protected me and kept saying I was tough and doing the right thing.
My thanks, my love, and my admiration because I hope some day years from now if my girls, my son or my grandkids ever question whether or not they should stand their ground they know I tried to set it for them. To shine the light on the monster and to realize you are only responsible for your own actions in life.
You learn over time who you can be friendly with, who you need to be colder professional.
I always try to do both, keeping it in the green zone the area where nothing you say or do anything
that could be taken wrong. We get yelled at people take out their frustrations on us all the time.
This sort of thing does not seem to rattle me, I always listening knowing they are having an emotional reaction to whatever their daily issue is. Sometimes there are those who for whatever reason their culture or their own self worth think they can push a personal interest in you I am always clear and precise that "No thank you, and I go back to talking about the product"
This past week I was faced with an owner who has in the past few months expressed more and more of an interest in me personally. We had dealt with an issue they had with their product, I had contacted him in regards to this from my cell phone. He had sent a few text of a personal nature.
I never responded to them. Each time I went in I would restate I was there for professional reasons.
This past week I decided to give him one more chance before removing him and refusing to go back.
I walked in and did my job he was outside at the time, when he came in he immediately stated Hey I tried texting you, to which I replied yes sir but I do not answer personal text messages and I am not interested and went back to discussing our product.
I hurried and left pretending to be on the phone as I left because I knew he was behind me.
I drove away was about half a mile north when my phone rang. I had blocked his number and so
when a new number popped up I didn't worry.
He made a very violent, inappropriate threat to hurt me in a very scary way. I froze for a moment
then I calmly said to him "I am removing you from my list, blocking your number, and will file sexual harassment charges against you. Then I hung up. I was mad, shocked, and upset. Then I said a prayer asking for the strength to know what to do. I called my supervisor and explained exactly what had transpired. He contacted HR and his supervisor. They asked me what I wanted. At this point all I could think of was some rep or customer my daughters age walking in not knowing what to do with this kind of assault. Yes is it was verbal only but it was still an assault in my opinion.
I told them calmly he needed to know it was not right, and I knew he would hurt someone physically if he already hadn't. I went to the Layton Police department and filed a complaint.
In his dealings with the police he made a statement that was regarded as a threat against my life.
My point is this, I am not a victim and never will be again. I took control back and am standing my ground even though many have said I should not be taking such aggressive action against him.
As I told those few and my company I am doing this so if nothing else to have a record he is a predator. There is right and wrong and I know in every fiber of my being this is me getting control back of who I am. He took 10 minutes of my life and made them heck. He will not get another chance to make me feel that way again.
Why am I sharing this? Because I believe in our world we have choices, some we let go, some we work through, and some times we stand our ground because its the right thing.
As Eric Church states in his song Monsters
You learn that the real monsters aren't the ones beneath the beds. They are the ones who look like everyone else but are dangerous.
I learned years ago that being a victim was a horrid role, you get trapped in it, and then you get tired, you hate yourself, and I had many people who taught me to take control, be strong, and in doing so you heal and you grow. Then you help someone else and you continue to grow and heal.
I feel as if those who say they were just words do not know when this stranger might change from just words to actions. I will not say words, I took action.
No matter where it ends, no matter what does or does not happen legally, I am standing my ground
saying no more. No man, woman, child, no-one has any right to take away another individuals feelings of security, self worth, or threaten their life.
I feel as if the first 40 years of my life were spent making mistake after mistake. I will spend the last years of my life proving I have grown, learn, repented, matured, and changed. I will not allow the monsters into my life, and I will not become one ever again.
I suppose perspective is what its all about, I am blessed I have friends like Luann Fronk and Beverly Peterson who have held me up when I couldn't do it, Michael Wack, Cashlyn Lewis, Doug and Sherri Millerf and my boss Larry Carter who every day several times a day has checked to make sure I was alright emotionally, mentally, physically, throughout this. To my company who has had my back from the start.
The officers from Layton City who supported me, protected me and kept saying I was tough and doing the right thing.
My thanks, my love, and my admiration because I hope some day years from now if my girls, my son or my grandkids ever question whether or not they should stand their ground they know I tried to set it for them. To shine the light on the monster and to realize you are only responsible for your own actions in life.
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