Hiding In Plain Site

In life we all go through various challenges.

We each have our trials and consequences. Some of us learn, some do not.

Through each of our challenges we are left with great memories, scars, embarrassing moments, or moments we just wish we could do over.

My blogs are not to do anything other then to be a history of 

My challenges, great memories,hopes,and dreams.

I hope someday long after I am gone my children realize,

And my grandchildren realize that I was just like them.

I made great choices, stupid mistakes, learned, grew, asked for

Forgiveness, owned my poor choices and behavior and reached for new goals.

I hope they see I had times of depression,times of feeling extremely blessed,

And times I was alone and cried. Moments I was silly, goofy,

But that I embraced life,love,my work, my children with the

Same passion I loved them with. I am leaving behind a video history.

So that if I am not here they can watch the videos when they graduate,

Get married, have children, get hurt, find love that completes

Them, struggle through whatever they may go through.

And that they see me, hear me, and knew I loved them so much 

I wanted them, their children, my children, to remember.

To laugh, to cry, to know what made me happy, what I believed

In and what my dreams are for their future.

I cannot count the times I wish I could listen to my father's

Voice, hear his wisdom, just hear him say he loves me.

I am leaving private videos for people I leave behind who are friends

Family members, people I loved, lost, or those who the timing 

Never seemed right to say what I felt I needed to.

Sometimes because of life, of whatever it is, it is not the time

To say what i feel now, it wouldn't mean the same.

I know perhaps a little strange, but I believe we are all hiding

In Plain Site, from our feelings, others feelings, depression of anxiety.

We have all probably lost someone and we would give anything

To hear their voice see their face, and have messages that

We're meant for just us

I believe the more human we are, the more we face what's 

In our past, our closets, or whatever we are running or hiding from

It will free you, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Plus when you admit you get down, depressed, stressed,

Whatever it is but we show our children, grandchildren 

Or whoever reads it that we fell, we got hurt, we loved,

We lost, we struggled, and we conquered our demons.

And we didn't make the same mistakes again,

We are showing them how to learn,grow, find forgiveness

Within themselves, find how to forgive others, and how 

Most of all to love uncondtionally. 

I have had people think it's depressing, or morbid.

I say not at all, read the small ones a story, tell them about

How you fell in love what you did to get through a 

Broken heart, how to walk away sometimes so you can

Just think, it's ok to love, to hurt, to not get everything

You want, it's ok to fall down physically,  emotionally,

Even spiritually, and tell them about what you believe in,

what your hopes and dreams are for your children, 

Your grandchildren, and your great grand kids and on.

As a professional genealogist  I think if it would have been

Possible how great it would have been to have seen, heard,

Stories from our ancestors right from their perspective.

It's also something I update every year, so as life happens

I can adjust the messages.

If you also think about things like organ donation, or if you 

Have a will or DNR then your family has you on video

Saying do or don't do something, and how helpful it would

Be for them, and how your wishes are there so no one 

Can argue it or disagree. Again update those items yearly

Per life changing and your own wishes changing.

We are all trying to come across as strong, or having it all

Together but the truth is we do not. If we could see each others 

True self, no-one put on their game face, work face, on.

We would probably learn more compassion.

I also believe we would help each other more, we wouldn't 

Be ashamed, or have the feeling of not wanting to burden others

If we picked up others, reached out more, had honest conversations 

But more then anything we learn to ask for help, to say when enough is

Enough, when we need a break, we wouldn't have 

The anxiety, depression or anything else as much or as often because 

We would share their burdens, we would know when to help others,

When to ask for help.

Well my late night ramblings are over, but if I go before

You do and you get a call someday saying there is a video

For you privately you will understand. 

I love you and in the words of Ellen Degeneres " Be Good To Each Other"

Jill