My Blog Jill Ferrin Bailey

So for those of you late to the game ha ha here is the story, grab your blankie and get comfy. My grandfather and I were talking about love, marriage, you know the important things a 12 year old wants to know about and dreams of. We were in the yard, he had a bush oh that bush hated everyone and yes I do mean that! It would grab you as you walked by and tear your skin, clothes, you name it. We begged grandpa to tear it out. He looked at me and said you know I could buy your grandmother red roses but to me I would be saying she was like every other woman in the world and well we all know she is not LIKE any other woman. He pointed to the dang nabit bush, it was horrid, but had the most delicate little tiny purple roses so beautiful. According to him so very rare, it took great care to grow them and not get eaten alive by the darned bush ha ha can you see the points? If not go back start over we will wait...okay ready? Grandpa said if he grew them, and was careful to pick them in just t...

The cool crisp night air takes my breath away for a moment, and I stop and pull a sweater around my shoulders laughing as I look down and think about my toes in my sandals. I always was a bit backwards,running barefoot in a snowstorm wearing mittens. I believe I wanted to feel protected while taking a daring step out into the world. Today I fell down, harder then before. Alot of tears, alot of really not liking who I am when I struggle to feel safe while still stepping into the adventure. We do not always hear what it is we need to, we may not always like it. But life has a way of giving us not always what we want, not always what we need, but what is needed. Sometimes what is needed is to take our breath away, and then just breath in again. Sometimes what is needed is a redirect or in my situation a stern warning about wearing boots, a coat, protection. When my fathers arms could not protect me or my mothers warm arms it was a coat, boats, mittens, or sometimes...they just let me lear...

It was a shock the first time I fell in love, I did not know what it was or powerful it truly was. It was just a moment, a short moment where when I fell in love, just by looking in his eyes. So many people have told me that it was attraction, sexual attraction, and so many other explanations. But it was the deepest, most honest feeling I had ever had.Feelings in circles, all getting better, stronger. 28 years later without expecting it, without even realizing I was in the same situation again yet there I was, I met him, and over a dinner, a simple dinner I felt something more powerful, deeper then I had ever felt. I had come close, I thought I was in love, but it was not anything even close. For a moment I reached inside and realized that my greatest fear yet my deepest most passionate feelings were here again. How do I tell you how in that moment I was in trouble, I felt as if I was in something I did not know could exist twice. You smiled, you looked in my eyes, there was nothing in...