Finding Yourself, Changing our Flaws

I have been struggling for awhile with who I am, where I want to be in my life, and where I see myself needing to be. I woke up with the idea that I have made a plan, slowly its coming into place.
Okay so I am losing weight slower then I would like, I am not financially where I would like to be yet.
But I am on my way, my book I am keeping is documenting the road to get back to the person when I look in the mirror I can smile, feel good, happy, and feel like I am at least further down the journey.
I suppose most of us need someone to love us in order to feel happy, for me its loving someone.
Do not get me wrong, knowing someone loves you unconditionally is the most amazing feeling.
But for me anyway its knowing that I am loving someone to the best of my ability.
We all have times we are not our best, we all have times we look in the mirror and dislike the wrinkles, finding gray hair, or seeing the scales go the wrong way.
But with all the challenges I have faced I am not going to "Settle" for anything less then feeling like I am where I intended to go. The roads might bend more then I would want, the rocks and potholes might feel bigger then we want, especially when we get hurt.
But our self esteem, our need and desire to like the face staring back at us is at least further down the right path is what we all desire. I can live with a few more wrinkles, I can cover the gray (at least for awhile longer) I can keep losing the weight, work harder at getting my professional life back where when I wake up I know I am helping people all day, well that's where I want to be.
Changing some of our flaws is easier then others, I find it hard to be with someone at times who is at
least in my eyes too good for me, but I focus on enjoying whatever time I have with them.
I find it hard to smile when someone encourages me to "try their latest herb, or diet" their nice way
of saying that you look better smaller. But again we are truly happy when we learn to accept our flaws, shortcomings, and embrace our quirkiness.
Forgiving someone who hurts you heals both parties, yet its one of the hardest things, of course
I do believe the hardest thing is forgiving ourselves.
I wanted to celebrate my 15 pounds I lost, but some where in trying to find a pair of pants I didnt hate was another challenge, it reminded me for a moment I have a ways to go.
I know I am loved, I have great children, a wonderful mother, grandbabies I adore, friends,
and those who treat me as if I am family even though I am not.
Most of all I know my Heavenly Father loves me, I know he needs me to help others and that by
doing that I will heal myself. The rest will work through with time.
I pray at night for those I love, those I have hurt, those who hurt me, and those who I have yet to meet.
I sometimes for a moment am selfish and pray that someone out there will see me for who I am and
then we will guide each other through the rest. Its always easier when someone has your back.
Its a beautiful day, I think I will see how much progress I can make

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